depression

 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

December 2024 – Internal Family Systems: Seeing the World (and Self) Through an IFS Lens

In this article, I will be continuing on with the run of IFS articles (on Exiles, Protectors, and the Self) to give a sketch of IFS applied to ourselves and macro-level actors at a time of such social and political upheaval. To see current reality clearly, we need multiple lenses, but it would seem that an accurate psychological lens is sorely missing. There is much more to be said and explored about psychology and groups than I can cover here, but hopefully the article can give you a sense of what IFS can offer both to understanding, empathy, and compassionate social relationships. Whatever side of the aisle you sit on, hopefully it’s clear that all of those qualities are desperately needed.

If you are in America, may your Thanksgiving have been filled with genuine gratitude, and otherwise may you be finding strength, resilience, and useful challenges in these interesting times.

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in Depression / Internal Family Systems
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

November 2024 – Internal Family Systems and Depression: The Self

In this month’s article, I continue the depiction of how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) “plural mind” model intersects with the phenomenon of depression (you can find the previous article on Protectors here, and Exiles here), with a focus on the Self, what IFS considers the central organizing principle and force of the psyche. Essentially, the Self can be thought of as the archetype of the ideal parent, but one that can and needs to be installed in the middle of our psyche for all the various parts to calm down and collaborate. Arguably, this installation is both what heals depression, and what psychotherapy itself is ultimately about.

IFS is a very rich model which these last articles are only sketching, so if you get interested and want to go further, you can check out the popular version of IFS, No Bad Parts, and the clinical manual, Internal Family Systems Therapy, both by Richard Schwartz.

May your late Fall be full of the richness of darkness, both in its quietude, and in its opportunities for contemplating losses and change.

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in Depression / Internal Family Systems / Self
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

October 2024 – Internal Family Systems and Depression: The Exiles

In this short run of articles about Internal Family Systems (IFS) and depression, we covered last month (see here) the Protector who deploys depression in the service of exiling unwanted parts of the personality. These parts who are ostracized are known as “Exiles” in IFS, and they will be the focus for this month, what they are and how they are related to depression. (To explore in more detail, see No Bad Parts, by Schwartz.)

As another summer is drawing to a close, may you have the space to reflect on these endless cyclical changes, and if you feel any loss with this transition, may you be able to feel that measure of grief and listen to it respectfully. The more we do that, the less our griefs get stuck.

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in Depression / Exiles / Internal Family Systems
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

September 2024 – Internal Family Systems and Depression: The Protectors

The next few issues will be looking at depression through the lens of Internal Family Systems Theory (IFS), a model of psychotherapy that dates back decades (with its roots going back even further to the early days of Freud and Jung) but is seeing a huge surge in interest amongst psychologists and clinicians. Although depression can be seen through multiple lenses (as you can read here), IFS has probably one of the best lenses on the condition, particularly in its framing depression as related to what IFS calls the Protector. Depression is best seen as a systemic defense, rather than a persecutor, and IFS offers an elegant way of highlighting this vital point.

May your late summers be not too sweltering, and if you’re heading back to school, I hope the transition is easy, or at least a useful challenge.

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in Depression / Grief / Internal Family Systems / Protectors
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

August 2024 – Depression and the Divine Child

I try to give a “pointillistic” view of depression in these newsletters, from the very pragmatic (as with here) to the rather abstract (like here), to give multiple ways to think about this complex experience. Today’s newsletter will be more of the latter, although in a weird sense (as hopefully you’ll see) fundamentally pragmatic. So, this month I’ll be describing what Carl Jung called the archetype of the Divine Child, specifically seen through the lens of a Jungian analyst named Donald Kalsched.

Kalsched writes about what he calls the “self-care system”, which is essentially the way our psyches protect themselves from damage when in contact with a threatening or caustic outside world. We’re all aware of the normal protections, such as defensiveness (“I didn’t do anything wrong!”), but Kalsched unpacks a more primal phenomenon, a defense system at the level of the basic archetypes which is organized around the protection not of the personal “Inner Child,” but of the more fundamental Divine Child.

Take a read and see if or how this idea might apply to your own life. Once you get the concept, it can be a very useful addition to the pragmatics of dealing with depression.

May your summer be progressing with the right mix of comfort and challenge.

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in Archetypes / Depression / Grief / Inner Child
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

July 2024 – Faith in the Age of Overwhelm

Unsurprisingly, I’ve been having many conversations this week about national and global politics, about power vs. powerlessness, and survival. With the attempted assassination of Donald Trump, the assaults on democracy worldwide, and the uncertainties of our future, it is no wonder that these subjects are part of the therapy conversation. Yet, for all the details and myriad particular concerns, the central questions all essentially seem to boil down to: How do we remain active? And how do we stay centered in the storm?

The article below was written around the beginning of Trump’s presidency, as I was working with clients (and myself) around these questions. The same discussion is returning and I’m seeing how my response, and my suggestion about how clients can orient themselves, has remained the same since 2016. In essence this is: practice grief (there are vast losses that the world at large, and we as individuals, are refusing to, or too overwhelmed, to grieve) and faith. But here I mean faith in a specific sense, being the intentional and conscious choice to assume that the world is, in essence, good not bad, given that the existential question of “Is life/these times good or bad?” cannot be answered simply by data. Change-oriented action, in whatever appropriate form, almost naturally follows on locating ourselves in that matrix of grief and faith. But if we do not root ourselves there, our actions with either be spastic and poorly considered, or frozen.

So, may you find some measure of footing in this stormy and uncertain time, and a faith that allows you the space to grieve what is being lost, in order to find and embrace what still remains.

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in Faith / Grief
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

November 2023 – The Protocols of Grief

Fall (in the Northern half of the planet), with its increasing dark and insularity, as well as the setting in (for some of the planet) of the holiday season, can bring on experiences or re-experiences of loss. Sometimes these are new losses, and sometimes these are losses that we tried to tuck into the attic but nonetheless have made their way downstairs. Given the build of our human psyches, these losses trigger the grief process as the way we’ve been designed to resolve those losses. But as natural as that is, we often initially resist or deny or rationalize the loss. Which doesn’t work.

So, in this month’s article, I lay out a sketch of the “protocols” of grieving, the stripped down elements or principles that make the process flow as smoothly and elegantly as it can. Hewing to these as best you can is a decent (if not cookie-cutter) recipe for engaging a process all of us would prefer to ignore. But since hiding grief is the invitation to depression coming on, it behooves us to surrender to the grieving, and these rules of grief are here to support us in that surrender.

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in Depression / Grief
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

March 2023 – Our Friend, Futility

For this month’s article, I’m revisiting directly one of my favorite topics, being the boons of aligning with futility. I know that saying futility is full of gifts does not sound right (to say the least), nonetheless the assertion here is that futility, understood and approached properly, is a profound friend. Read through the following piece and hopefully you will come out with a different view of what futility actually is, and what it offers.

Otherwise, I hope that the change in season (such as it may be in your neck of the woods) is bringing energy, reflection, rightly accepted grief, and deeply welcomed joys.

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in Depression / Futility / Grief
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

February 2023 – Swimming Upstream: Social Life During Depression

In this month’s article, I answer a reader’s question about how to build and maintain a social life during depression, and give an outline of the program elements that help. As ever, there’s no guarantee with depression, and it is work to come out of depression. There’s no way around that, but when you come to terms with that, you have a big advantage in the inevitable wrestling match that depression presents.

Wherever you are in the world, may your February be full of the right mix of challenge and support, work and grace.

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in Depression / Social
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

January 2023 – Acceptance Comes Before Understanding

Happy 2023, and I hope the first few weeks of the year are starting off well for you. If not so much, then I wish for you to have enough support and inspiration to work with whatever is arising, especially the awareness that, “Even this will pass.”

In this article, I’m addressing what we often are confused on, the belief that understanding has to come before acceptance. The counterintuitive thing is that actually the two are decoupled, and acceptance requires no understanding, just acknowledgement of the reality of something, and letting that reality be true within ourselves. Which, although it is not easy (we have defenses against foreign stuff), works a lot better in the long run.

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in Acceptance/Surrender / Depression