discernment

 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

June 2019 – Futility

This month’s article concerns a pivotal issues dealing with depression: is the sense of futility that is part-and-parcel of depression an objective reality, or a subjective sense? Futility—that state where a goal cannot be realized, i.e., “made real”—is what depression arises from, essentially as a way of managing energy. When a goal is productive, then our systems allow us to spend energy on it; when a goal is unproductive, then our systems withhold energy from that goal. Knowing whether or not “futility” is an accurate assessment of a goal allows either energy to flow, or not, towards something we desire.

I hope, wherever you might be in the country, you’re starting to get some spring and finding, whatever your challenges, some way to enjoy it all.

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in Depression / Futility
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

May 2019 – Tool of the Month – What Is the Most Creative Thing?

May’s Tool-of-the-Month centers on the short question, “What is the most creative thing I can do?”, which is not easy to actually ask. Or if it’s easy to ask, it’s hard to act on. So, here are some brief thoughts about that question, and since experimentation is a big part of creativity, give the question a shot and see what happens.

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in Anxiety / Creativity / Depression / Tool of the Month
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

April 2019 – Tool of the Month – The Desert Island Test

The “Tool of the Month” for April is a simple test for a complex problem: is the belief that we hold as ours, actually ours, or is it being held because we either inherited it, or had to believe it for safety reasons? The answer is a very important one, because if a belief is congruent with who we actually are, if it truly is our belief, then it doesn’t cause friction. But if it is incongruent, then the friction between our self and our received belief cause stress, at some level, even though initially we may not be aware of that stress. So the Desert Island Test is a little thought experiment to help discriminate which belief belongs to whom.

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in Depression / Tool of the Month
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

August 2018 – Tool of the Month – Looking For What Is There

The tool for this month is a skill that involves spotting the aliveness in our environment, when depression is telling us that it’s essentially all grey and dead out there. It never is, but depression can be pretty convincing. So we need to practice, as if we were carefully scanning for the subtle life in a desert, seeing what is already there in front of us, that carries a sense of life and interest for us. Give it a shot, but as I point out in the article, remember that healing from depression is work, and learning new tools requires work and repetition to get the hang of them.

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in Depression / Tool of the Month
 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

Discovering the desire that undermines depression: Discerning versus deciding who we are

The article for this month concerns the relationship of desire and depression, and how we typically inherit our thoughts about our desires, rather than discern those desires through the process of examining ourselves. If we are to find what our authentic desires are, we have to look closely and carefully at ourselves, in an often somewhat arduous process of getting to know what this “self” actually is. So many people—parents, families, cultures—tell us what we should want, and what should satisfy us. But rarely do those simply line up with our unique desires, and in that gap of knowledge, and then action on those desires, is the fertile ground from which depression can spring.

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in Depression / Therapy