love Archives – Marty Cooper, PhD, MFT

October 10, 2022March 24, 2023 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

October 2022 – Love Letters to Humanity

I recently tossed a request out to a diverse group of humans I know, asking them for questions they might have about all things depression. There were a lot of questions, so I’ll be writing to them over the next few months. The first one I picked out was, “Why is it important to have a list of ‘Love Letters to Humanity’ for games, movies, songs, art, etc., in terms of Depression/Anxiety?” That there is a very interesting question, which I attempt to address in the article below.

May your respective Falls be starting well, and may you both enjoy the change in season (such as they are in your part of the world) and reflect on the impermanence (that most fundamental of life’s qualities) that the falling leaves and increasing chill implies.

July 29, 2016August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

Trust Only Love

This article was published at the Huffington Post (on the Psyched in SF blog), focusing on the question of what happens if we only trust Love, and how “trusting” is different than “hearing.” It’s meant as a quick sketch of the terrain, and idea that is certainly not new, but nonetheless remains as radical as when proposed by any of the greats.

in Love & Relationships

May 29, 2016August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

How Therapists Avoid Becoming Depressed, Embittered Burn-Outs

I have been practicing psychotherapy for about 15 years now. I’ve worked with abandoned children, abandoning mothers, schizophrenics, a few sociopaths, folks who want to kill themselves more often than not, and deep, chronic depression and anxiety (which is the center of my private practice). In these years, I’m asked by patients, with some regularity, and bafflement, “How can you stand to listen to all this all the time?” Good question: how is it that we psychotherapists can engage day in and day out our patients’ suffering-which is to say, the stream of human suffering-and not become burnt out husks?

in Therapy

August 7, 2008August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

Love as resource, love as practice

Love and fear do not cohabitate very easily. Love can look on fear, as on a scared child, with acceptance and compassion. But, usually when a person is in the throes of depression or anxiety, they’re in a place of fear, and fear is pretty much just interested in survival, in fighting or fleeing. Not loving.

in Love & Relationships / Therapy

September 7, 2007August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

“Love Gets Hidden”: Wrestling Intimacy Away from Depression

(This is an account of a fictionalized client, whose traits are drawn from many individuals.)

My new client, Toni, had the classic signs of an ongoing depression: she was sleeping more than usual, she ate too little, and she lay in bed many mornings trying to talk herself into getting up and starting her day. Her world looked bleak and dark; as an artist, she was particularly aware of how colors were washed out and her sense of space was flattened. And, most painfully, her relationship with her boyfriend felt dry and unsatisfying.

in Depression / Love & Relationships