Hope in the time of HOPE

Regardless of who you were rooting, or working, for in the recent presidential election, one has to see it as a pretty remarkable event. The first African-American president, the first race so influenced by “green politics,” and the first one I’ve seen in a while to not just talk about hope, but to actually stimulate it in what seems to be a wide swath of the electorate.

But for those of you who have had a history of depression and anxiety, it’s probably not such a clear emotion, or so easily summoned.

The wild moods, anxiety and depression, often have a very uneasy, if not hostile, relationship to hope. These moods carry the opposite charge to hope: negative, pessimistic, scared.

So even with hope being talked about in the buzz of the election, and citizens getting inspired, you may have found yourself less than inspired, maybe even cynical.

Human minds have a remarkable capacity to defend themselves. If you have had enough experiences with being positive and open to people, to the world, which have met with pain–of rejection, betrayal, dismissal–then over time you will likely develop “antibodies” to such positivity. “I’ll never let myself be so exposed again!”

So hope is one form of this positivity: you look at a situation and remain open to, or fully believe in, the possibility that “things will work out for the best.”

So the question as I see it for those struggling with anxiety and depression is: how to cultivate hope when it seemingly hasn’t served one very well in the past.

Some principles:

1) Hope is not Pollyanna–it’s not blindly optimistic. At best, hope is based on experience about the impossibility to know exactly how a situation will turn out, combined with an equally experienced knowledge that “grounded hope” often brings about that which one hopes for.

2) Hope connects one to the world. Grounded hope is implicitly a statement of safety; pessimism is a statement of unsafety. When one is feeling safe, there is no reason to guard against reality, and thus, no reason to isolate oneself from others, or from the world at large.

3) Hope can open one’s mind to possibility. Grounded hope acts as something of a lubricant to possibility: when one is open to the existence of change/growth/satisfaction, then one can actually see avenues for them to be realized.

A practice in hope

So with these axioms in mind, how does one cultivate, or allow in, hope when anxiety and depression’s natural tug is towards hopelessness? Here are some thoughts and suggestions towards building hope muscles.

1) Become intimate with hopelessness. If you don’t know what it’s like, then you can’t spot it when it’s happening. And what can’t be identified in generally can’t be changed. Make of study of your own hopelessness. Easy? No way. But it can be done. One can genuinely get to know hopelessness in the same way one might identify birds in birdwatching: with detachment, clear recognition, and choice of how you respond.

2) Choose openness. Hope is resonant with open heartedness, and open heartedness itself is not afraid. When you notice hopelessness arising (like a bird from the grass), the practice is choosing open heartedness, choosing to believe in the hope-full-ness of the moment.

3) Learn how your body doesn’t hope. The wild moods express themselves at all levels of the psyche: body, mind, and heart/emotions. So hopelessness, and hope, are also body experiences. This practice is in watching how the body reflects a lack of hope, and of hope, and then experimenting with changing the body to support hope. If, for instance, you slump and contract when not feeling hopeful, what happens when you choose to open your posture?

4) Choose positive relationships. Roger Walsh, who wrote a book about the commonalities of world religions, said that one of the pervasive teachings of all wisdom traditions is: if you want a particular quality, surround yourself with those with that quality. Hope resonates with hope, getting stronger; hopelessness resonates with negativity and isolation, making it stronger.

Last thoughts

The macro level and the micro level are always in communication. Hope writ large individually in the national discourse, and hope writ small in the individual heart. The outside always influences the inside, and the inside always shapes and frames the outside.

Hope is not a genetic gift, for some lucky souls and not others. It is squashed for good reasons, and can be cultivated for good reasons. The key is investigating both with curiosity, getting help from whoever is willing, and then making ongoing choices about what’s best, ultimately, for you.