Anxiety and Depression Writing – Marty Cooper, PhD, MFT

February 1, 2023March 24, 2023 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

February 2023 – Swimming Upstream: Social Life During Depression

In this month’s article, I answer a reader’s question about how to build and maintain a social life during depression, and give an outline of the program elements that help. As ever, there’s no guarantee with depression, and it is work to come out of depression. There’s no way around that, but when you come to terms with that, you have a big advantage in the inevitable wrestling match that depression presents.

Wherever you are in the world, may your February be full of the right mix of challenge and support, work and grace.

in Depression / Social

January 20, 2023March 24, 2023 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

January 2023 – Acceptance Comes Before Understanding

Happy 2023, and I hope the first few weeks of the year are starting off well for you. If not so much, then I wish for you to have enough support and inspiration to work with whatever is arising, especially the awareness that, “Even this will pass.”

In this article, I’m addressing what we often are confused on, the belief that understanding has to come before acceptance. The counterintuitive thing is that actually the two are decoupled, and acceptance requires no understanding, just acknowledgement of the reality of something, and letting that reality be true within ourselves. Which, although it is not easy (we have defenses against foreign stuff), works a lot better in the long run.

in Acceptance/Surrender / Depression

November 1, 2022March 24, 2023 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

November 2022 – Depression and the Illness of Loved Ones

As with last month, I’m going to answer another question from the list that folks have sent me, with this being about depression in relation to the long-term illness of a loved one. Although the article below is specific to this question, the thoughts are relevant to any “slow-motion” loss we are experiencing, whether that of a loved one, or loss of a career, or a medical situation of our own.

As we move into winter, I hope you are staying warm, literally and internally, but also enjoying the transitions in whatever way you can.

in Depression / Grief / Illness / Loss

October 10, 2022March 24, 2023 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

October 2022 – Love Letters to Humanity

I recently tossed a request out to a diverse group of humans I know, asking them for questions they might have about all things depression. There were a lot of questions, so I’ll be writing to them over the next few months. The first one I picked out was, “Why is it important to have a list of ‘Love Letters to Humanity’ for games, movies, songs, art, etc., in terms of Depression/Anxiety?” That there is a very interesting question, which I attempt to address in the article below.

May your respective Falls be starting well, and may you both enjoy the change in season (such as they are in your part of the world) and reflect on the impermanence (that most fundamental of life’s qualities) that the falling leaves and increasing chill implies.

in Beloved / Depression / Love

September 5, 2022September 6, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

September 2022 – Depression in “Everything Everywhere All At Once”

In this newsletter, I look at depression through the lens of this year’s movie, Everything Everywhere All At Once. In addition to Inside Out (see here for my review), it is a brilliant, and beautiful, depiction of not just depression, but depression and its resolution. I’ve been talking about it for months, and thought it was time to write it up here.

As I say in the article below, the film is not intended to be a complete map to the intricacies of the journey out of depression, but rather a meta-map for the whole arc of that journey, and its key factors. And amazingly—it’s an absurdist story of a harried woman and her taxes—it’s totally correct. So, before reading, if you haven’t, see the film, and consider seeing it again. It is very rich, and totally worth the time.

So, as the Waymonds say in the film, may these difficult times be met with heartfulness, good companions, wise guides, skillful conflict (as necessary), and more than anything, the willingness and resources to practice growth.

in Depression / Nihilism

June 1, 2022August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

June 2022 – Cherishing Our Own Bafflement

Following on from last month, this month’s article looks at something underneath the “culture wars”, and regular wars, of recent times, the violent clash of beliefs without communication. I’m looking here at the essential reason why there’s a refusal to entertain (“to receive someone as a guest”) the worldviews of others that give rise to their beliefs. It’s not due to confusion, or if it is, it’s a strategic confusion.

May these difficult times be met with heartfulness, companionship, appropriate combat (as necessary), wisdom, and more than anything, the willingness and resources to practice growth.

in Beliefs

May 2, 2022August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

May 2022 – Depression in Depressing Times

I thought this might be a good time to talk about depression as it relates to current events, since there seems to be a lot of them events currently. Contentious politics, shaky democracy, a pandemic, culture wars, and now an actual war in Europe, amongst whatever local crises might be happening for us individually. The basic question here is how, in depressing times, we can avoid becoming depressed.

There are a lot of facets to the question—it goes to the heart of what depression actually is—but in this newsletter, I’ll just address the general subject, and in future letters, more granular parts.

In line with that: may you find, even with all that’s going on, some appreciation of the changing seasons, and some portion of an absurd, indefensible, dog-with-a-bone hope and trust in the Goodness of things.

in Current Events / Depression / Pandemic

December 1, 2020August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

December 2020 – Self-Regulation: The Whats and Hows (Depression Primer #4)

I hope that your Thanksgiving went well (all things about these times considered), and that in an incredibly difficult year, you have been able to keep, more or less, your footing. Which is a thought that is apropos to the topic for this newsletter, continuing on with the theme of basic issues regarding depression (following on from the previous ones on gratitude, experimentation, and futility), this article will focus on the nature of “self-regulation,” and its centrality to depression and depression’s healing. It’s a big topic, arguably the most important in understanding, but I’m hoping this gives you a sense of the terrain.

Here’s to wishing an entry into the new year characterized by poise and equanimity.

in Depression / Futility / Self-Regulation

September 7, 2020August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

September 2020 – Futility: The Whats and Hows (Depression Primer #3)

I’m continuing on here with the idea that there are certain core elements or phenomenon in depression that would really behoove every depressive to know about. And this month’s focus, futility, is dead center in what depression is about. Not that ever knowing these “depression axioms” will be the cure itself; depression requires work and training (link), but it also needs a good theoretical understanding.

May you be staying safe, but also using this difficult time to learn and grow.

in Depression / Futility

August 11, 2020August 27, 2022 by Marty L. Cooper, PhD, MFT

August 2020 – Experimentation: The Whats and Hows (Depression Primer #2)

This is the second in a series of articles concerning the basic principles for healing depression. Last month (link) concerned the practice and purpose of gratitude, and this month will look at the importance of working with depression from an experimental mode. This means that, when trying to influence depression (changing negative thinking, being active rather than de-motivated, etc.), we set up those attempts in our own minds as experiments. Basically, “What happens when I do X?”, which itself acts as an antidote to the dogmatic assertions of depression.

May you all be safe, supported, related, and striving towards wisdom in these amazing times.

in Depression / Experimentation